Disclosure: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links, meaning I may receive a small commission if you click a link and purchase something I have recommended. Please read my full disclosure policy for more details.

We’ve all come across those people. You know the ones, the people who seem to excel at everything they do. You started at the same time but their group is bigger, their numbers are bigger, their sales are bigger, their team is bigger. They’re just…bigger.

Now, you can sit and stew and internally rage against her all day, wondering how she’s doing it. Questioning how she’s blowing past all those goals so quickly while you’re stuck in her dust seething. Or you can take a deep breath and learn to love the consultant who’s outdoing you. Because there are plenty of reasons to love her.

3 Reasons Why You Should Love the Consultant Who is Outdoing You

1. You’re both in the same garden.

The rose doesn’t get mad at the lily for blooming faster. In fact, trying to compare a rose to a lily is ridiculous because both are beautiful flowers for different reasons. Some people are going to like the rose more while others will prefer the lily. Neither circumstance makes the rose or the lily any better than the other. There are plenty of people who enjoy both flowers.

The same is true of your company — there are plenty of customers out there to allow you both to thrive. The fact that she is finding more customers sooner does not mean there will be none left for you; nor does it take any away from you. Think about all the people you can, and eventually will, reach for your business. How many customers can you handle before customer service starts to take a hit? There is no reason to believe that how fast she is finding customers will somehow hurt your chances of finding customers.

Wasting energy on raging against someone who has more customers faster is just that, a waste. A better use of your time and energy would be to take a closer look at what you’re doing to attract new customers to you. What strategies and techniques have you implemented for telling people about your business? And are those techniques working? If yes, then start expanding to reach more people. If not, perhaps it’s time to start taking a closer look to see what isn’t working and what can be changed so it does work.

2. She has something to teach you.

Obviously, this consultant has learned something. And as your friend, she will likely teach you that something. It might be a question technique, a follow-up system, or even a group she joined that is full of advice and free marketing tips. Whatever her secret is, she’s never going to share it with you if you spend all your time avoiding her and seething at her success. Love the consultant for who she is — someone with something to teach you — and you’ll learn how to rise right along with her.

3. Hating her doesn’t improve you.

Try as you might, judging and hating the consultant who is surpassing you doesn’t make you any better. If you’re upset that she’s moving faster or growing bigger, then you should be focusing on your productivity. What systems can you streamline?  Are you taking advantage of the different tools available to you?

There are dozens of tools that can help you boost your productivity. CinchShare, for example, can help you schedule posts to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter — which can save you loads of time and help you build consistency. PicMonkey or Canva can help you with everything from creating an eye-catching logo to creating a media kit and even establishing your visual branding components. Acuity scheduling and Zoom video chats can both be used to book client and team meetings to save you hours of administrative work.

Or if you prefer putting pen to paper and keeping your schedule that way, you can always get yourself a Day Designer to stay on top of things.

No one ever said you had to jump out of the gates running straight to the top. But if you aren’t making progress where someone else is, then streamlining your systems may help you get there. Better customer tracking, better followup systems, and better team leadership all play a critical role in your overall success in direct sales.

Bonus Reason #4. Who needs that kind of negativity?

Ultimately, the comparison trap is going to leave you feeling crushed and defeated. You’ll have spent the entire day seething in silence about a consultant who is outpacing you, and not getting any further yourself. You’ll be frustrated and thinking about how right you are — because after all, you’re working so hard and not getting anywhere. But when you’re working so hard from such a negative space, it’s even harder to make ground. 

You are comparing your internal processes to her external results.  You have no idea what background, numbers, processes, or support systems are helping her succeed.  And chances are, some of those same systems could help you too – if you are willing to look beyond your frustration to see them.

Love the consultant who is outdoing you, learn what you can from her, and reflect on your own systems for areas to improve upon. In the end, you’ll feel much better about yourself and about your progress. And who knows, you may even get a new bestie out of the deal.


Brenda Ster sitting at her desk with her phone in one hand and one had on her mouse with the words Don't spend your time hating the consultant this is outpacing you Learn from here instead for the blog post 3 Reasons Why You Should Love the Consultant Who is Outdoing You

Get on the Wait List!

Sign up to be the first to know when The Elite Suite is open!

You're in! Be sure to check your email to confirm your place on the waitlist.

Brenda Ster, online marketing for direct sales, smiling in a circle

You're just two steps away from joining this free workshop!

What would your business look like if you could get 1 person on your team this week?

How about 10 more people?

Pop your info into the form below and I'll show you the secrets to building that million dollar team without all those cheesy tricks that leave you feeling sealed.

You're in! Get ready to receive a special one-time offer ;)